bushfalling [ DOT ] com

Hey, here again comes the troublesome uncleche. I didn’t really mean what I typed as title. As a matter of fact, I was very happy with a poll that was set up by our able admin, Churchill. A majority of people voted that pays was better than bush. I voted against, not because I was against but because I wanted to add fuel to the fire.

Sorry, bushfaller, I didn’t really mean it when I said you hate Cameroon. That was a big joke. But, I have a question. If you claim pays is better than bush, then what are you still doing there? Why don’t you come back to Cameroon?

A bushfaller says pays is better but doesn’t want to come back to Cameroon? Below are 6 possible reasons why.

BUSHFALLER “JEST”: Oh, this goes without any doubt. You will miss that one. Remember the dollars you always throw on us each time you come back to Cameroon for a short vacation? I usually worship you because of those dollars. When you finally come back to Cameroon and we are very sure of not getting those dollars anymore, to hell with you. We won’t even count you during census.

LOSS OF BUSHFALLERITY: I guess we have talked about bushfallerity and how to calculate it. We have also mentioned some words bushfallers always use. Bushfallers have an accent different from pays people. Believe me, when you come back to Cameroon, you will gradually lose that accent and start talking like one of us here. After a few years, someone meeting you for the first time will not even know you have ever had a bushfallerity of up to 0.00001 falls.

LOW PAID JOBS: I always hear some jealous people like myself saying our bushfallers do all sorts of dirty jobs in bush. Is there any spot on this planet where there are no dirty jobs? Just a few of them do those dirty jobs. Tell me why a bushfaller will come to Cameroon and wash a corpse for 1,000frs when he can do it there for $100.00. Even our bushfallers who have descent jobs there are paid ten times what they can receive for those descent jobs in Cameroon. Who wants to settle for small pay?

FREE SIGHTSEEING AND TOURISM: How many skyscrapers do we have in Cameroon? How many gorgeous streets with neon lights in Yaounde? How many nightclubs with strippers in Douala? How many white men and women do we see here in Buea? There are many things to see in bush and many places to visit? There is no way we can flatter our bushfallers to come here because we can’t provide these extra sweeties.

“BUSH ARREST”: Some of our bushfallers are like imprisoned in bush. They can’t move a single mile from their home, so lets forget talking about crossing the Atlantic to come to Cameroon. I guess you all know the famous “Greencard Marriage” stuff. For a woman, it is almost OK. But for a man, when you marry an American lady just to get a green card she automatically becomes the man of the house and you her “boy-boy”. She is totally in control and decided when you go and come. If she has just one soft spot for you that even makes things perfect. She will never let you out of sight.

EXTENDED FAMILY DEPENDENCE: Hey, Mr. Bushfaller. Remember when you were in Cameroon? Everyday they will tell you your uncle is this, your aunt is that, your great grand father is this, your cousin, that, this that this that…oh! At last, you are free from all those problems and complaints. You now have just yourself and immediate family to take care of. Tell me why you will like to come back and embrace all these problems.